That’s a fair question, one that I have asked myself several times today. A great many people who chose to blog have many insights to share, and are experts in their areas of choice. Not so with me. While I have certainly had my share of experiences and adventures, I am by no means an expert or an authority on pretty much anything. As a friend of mine stated recently in his own lament about blogging, “I don’t have anything unique to say.” And I don’t, at least not from the standpoint of subject matter.
However, one of the responses to his post struck a chord with me at this moment in my life. The person said that a blog by someone trying to find their focus and discover their “passion” in a structured way would be fascinating. Well, I am not trying to be fascinating. As an artist, though, I can totally understand the point he was making about letting your passion move you. In my myriad experiences I found that only one thing motivates someone, inspires them to create and relate in new ways, more than any other:
Which brings me to the question of, “Why now?”
Last Tuesday, I found out that my mother’s cancer had returned. A year ago, she was diagnosed with extensive small cell lung cancer. She fought with everything she had, of course, and underwent a multitude of chemotherapy treatments and tests. That fight seemed to bear fruit when, just a few months ago, she was given a clean bill of health and declared in remission. Unfortunately, with small cell, it is possible (even likely) that it has already metastasized by the time you have discovered the first masses, yet still be too small to detect. This was the case with my mother. Unbeknownst to everyone, the cancer was already in her brain.
So, here I am, trying to do something positive with the pain, as I watch my mother’s decline and my father’s heartbreak.
Let me start out by saying that I do not intend for this to be a sob story or to be overly depressing. (Although, I cannot promise it will be all sunshine and roses. You were warned.) I also do not intend to paint myself with a flattering palette. I intend to do this the same way I do my artwork…stark, honest, real. As anyone who has seen my artwork can attest to, I specialize in photo-realistic pencil work. I intend to do the same here. I am not perfect, and I would hope that any of you reading this do not expect me to be because (gasp!) neither are you. I won’t hold it against you if you won’t hold it against me.
Thanks for listening.